Attachment Theory

So, I’ve been fascinated with roots lately. How these massive trees cling- desperately, deeply, stretching, grasping, reaching, and holding on that which will keep them upright – even as the foundation beneath them erode and falter. As children, we need deep rooted attachments to develop, and the suppleness, richness, and structure of those substantive relationships are partly what lays the groundwork for and constitutes our core beliefs. As adults though, we cannot change our roots but we do get the opportunity to choose what we believe and what to hold on to and what to let go of — which is easier said than done. We get to accept our roots and use them to ground us, center us, and perhaps keep us humble. No matter the environment, we can choose to keep reaching for the light and growing and we can choose wise nourishment and friends to keep us strong and upright. However, if the soil is bad or eroding, and we continually absorb toxic things, people, and beliefs, we risk being vulnerable to the storms and strong winds of life that inevitably come our way. A friend recently paraphrased a Douglas Miller lyric and said, “The storms may come and the winds may blow, but my soul is anchored.”.  What is our soul anchored in? Is it anchored in our faith, our family, our spirituality, our social status, materialism, or kindness and compassion? My soul feels anchored and free at the same time. And, after all, isn’t that what we’re supposed to give our children- strong roots and wings to fly?  I want to always remember to keep reaching for the light and to keep my soul growing toward an ever expanding awareness and appreciation for life while being grounded and strong.


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